Saturday, September 4, 2010
September Blog Chain: Seasons
I am not at all a summer person. Even after growing in Florida, amid an atmosphere only slightly less humid than New Orleans, heat is not something I like. In fact after the past decade of living in a huge artificial oasis on the coast of the American Southwest Desert (i.e. Los Angeles) my emotional attachment to Autumn has grown. More puzzling is that Autumn includes so many disappointments.
My mother died in November. So did the woman I loved. Those are the top ones. But there were more, including the last time I tried hosting a party. A Halloween party. Costumes, naturally. One person arrived. We watched 1977's BBC Count Dracula and chatted. Never tried that again.
All of which makes me sound like a whiner, doesn't it? Or at least depressed. Me, I prefer the word melancholy. Far more pretentious. More accurate as well. Perhaps I've learned to accept some degree of sadness in my life. Didn't want to. Still seethe in anger at the fact, at times even wanting to scream (maturity means I don't actually do it, though).
There, maybe, lies part of the answer. Autumn is the time when things begin to die. Yet, as Cyrano pointed out, each leaf achieves a kind of glory as it falls. Remember Walsh? (From the movie Serenity--go watch it if you haven't.) My perceptions of the world are askew from others. Whereas others look at people's eyes, my eyes find the mouth. You know how so many writers write the equivalent of a sonnet then have to somehow cut it down to a haiku? I'm the opposite. Hence to me the dying of life seems soothing.
Years ago someone uttered a wise sentence to me. "Life always keeps one particular promise--in the end you get to rest." It has helped me, thinking on that. Death has its attractions. But no need to rush. As the autumn leaves fall, they remind me of this.
Such might be part of the answer, anyway.
Here is the list of the September Blog Chain participants:
Ralph_Pines: http://ralfast.wordpress.com/ and direct link to his post
Aheïla: http://thewriteaholicblog.wordpress.com/ and direct link to her post
DavidZahir: http://zahirblue.blogspot.com/ <<<< you are here
NEXT >>>>orion_mk3: http://nonexistentbooks.wordpress.com/
T.N. Tobias: http://tnt-tek.com/